What is your 'canny make it up' story about heading to or leaving Ibrox?

MrBearightside

MrBearightside

Well-Known Member
Most of us have been stuck in a massive traffic jam, but have you ever had anything happen on top of that which was unbelievable?

I am bored at work and need a chuckle!
 
Dad put petrol instead of diesel in his car and the car eventually sputtered to a stop on the hard shoulder a mile or so back from the Ibrox junction on the M8. Can't remember if he eventually made it to the game but he was raging nonetheless.
 
Years ago, I was walking past the entrance to the Albion Car Park en route to a game v the bheasts. I was wearing the orange jersey (it was round that time). A mentally challenged supporters’ bus pulled up and right in front of a full jam sandwich of pigs, one of the plebs came stotting off with a bottle of bud which he launched at me, hitting me full force on the back of the head, in full view of said pigs. I turned around with the shock of it and gestured to the pigs, who shat themselves and told me to move on or face arrest.

Truly unbelievable. Would have been the most obvious and easy arrest but welcome to modern Scotland where poets are untouchable and Rangers fans are fair game.
 
I saw a bus going through a red light then park on yellow boxes further down the road, not the yellow vices painted on the road your picturing but a delivery of boxes of chickens being delivered to one of the fast food shops that the guy had unloaded from his boot and moved into a space made available before he put them in his shop
 
I found a P plate on the ground outside post game, stuck it over the p on one of the police vans that block edminson drive.

Coppers didn't notice and even drove away with it still on.
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Years ago our supporters bus was going to the game and we saw a wheel bounce along the road past the window. From the bus!!

My memory is not what it was but I’m worried now I may have dreamt it.
 
Careca said:
Years ago our supporters bus was going to the game and we saw a wheel bounce along the road past the window. From the bus!!

My memory is not what it was but I’m worried now I may have dreamt it.
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You didn’t. St Johnstone midweek cup tie at Hampden. We were late but made the match
 
Simple one.

It all happened when I was about 15. Myself, my da and 5-6 guys from our bus were standing in a wee (close together) group outside the stadium, that lot drinking their decanted juice.

Next thing, a gallon of bird shit lands all over my head, face, jacket. No cünt else was touched, not even with shrapnel. My da must have laughed for about 3 days straight.
 
On the way to a game last season, standing in the queue for a train/subway ticket at Queen Street, bumped into a guy I went to school with and hadn't clapped eyes on since the day I left in 2001. Had a quick blether, turns out he's had his season ticket since school as well and gets the train 1 stop before me, I commented it was weird this was the first time we'd saw each other. So off I went to the Auctioneers for a pint with my brother while he was heading over to meet some pals the Louden.

Couple of hours later, coming out the subway and walking up to the stadium, walking past the chippy opposite the Louden and there he is again munching a roll n chips. Didn't end there.......

Guess who also turned up in the Kensington after the game! We just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Haven't seen him since!
 
Many years ago I was a member of a Rangers mailing list and a fellow member was a Colour Sergeant in the army.
He was also social secretary of his local Sergeants mess that had premises behind the Broomloan Stand.
He invited a few of us to pre match drinks and prices were 50p for double spirits and 30p for bottled beer.
As the afternoon wore on,and kick off approached,drinks were free.
If ever Sergeants MESS was appropriate it was then as they were some messes as we went to the game.:D
 
Rangers 2-3 Dundee United
Goodwillie scored late to give them the victory, we used to park at Bellahouston Bowling Club and upon returning from the game a group of mentally challenged tadgers were peppering the cars and bears with rockets etc, splitting an older gentlemen wide open leaving him rather dazed.

Usual response from the bears throwing some back while getting the key to chase the wee bar stewards away.

Never said this before, but quite clever as they were protecting themselves with traffic cones on their heads.

While this is going on me and my dad jump in the car, wanting to avoid the rocks while my grandad is standing gormless trying to figure out whats going on while my dads new motor is getting battered with rockets much to my dads anger!
 
Superrangers said:
Years ago, I was walking past the entrance to the Albion Car Park en route to a game v the bheasts. I was wearing the orange jersey (it was round that time). A mentally challenged supporters’ bus pulled up and right in front of a full jam sandwich of pigs, one of the plebs came stotting off with a bottle of bud which he launched at me, hitting me full force on the back of the head, in full view of said pigs. I turned around with the shock of it and gestured to the pigs, who shat themselves and told me to move on or face arrest.

Truly unbelievable. Would have been the most obvious and easy arrest but welcome to modern Scotland where poets are untouchable and Rangers fans are fair game.
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How dare your head get in the way of that upstanding citizen's bottle. For shame.
 
I fell going into the match, skint both knees and 2 old men helped me up.

Apart from that no issues :)
 
Back in the 90s, (Might have been the Duncan Ferguson 'Head butt game) I turned up at my usual 2pm, and then felt really sick, spewed my guts in the bogs and felt so crappy I had to leave and go home. Left Ibrox by 2.10pm. Must be close to the shortest ever in the ground
 
First game at Ibrox with my mates instead of going with my dad. My mum wasnt happy, worried about her wee boy going into big bad Glasgow and to a game on his own, so I was under strict instructions to keep my scarf inside my jacket until I got to the ground. She didnt want me to attract attention from the feral yahoos that would be infesting the city.

Then my mate turned up at the door, he had on a Rangers top, a scarf, and a red hand over his shoulders. My cover was blown.
 
Glasgow Cup Final in the seventies ended 1-1 between us and them. Very little money so mate had bright (feel free to insert ridiculous, bl**dy stupid, moronic) idea to travel down from Inverness on the Celtic supporters bus as the Rangers bus was sold out.

I agreed on the understanding we sat at the front, didn’t make eye contact, no colours etc.

Get to Aviemore where the bus stopped for folk to use the toilet, get food etc when I saw a few of them looking over and mumbling between themselves. Looked down and my mates scarf is just hanging out of his pocket.

Get back on bus and find ourselves the focal point of various songs about what was going to happen to us in due course.

As soon as bus hit Glasgow we got off when bus stopp3d at traffic lights, went to the game, decided we would get train back home. Missed the last one to Inverness, had bright idea to get one to Aberdeen to make connection which we duly did but missed connection and spent the night walking around the streets of Aberdeen waiting for the first one to run in the morning.

Finally got home around 10am knackered and skint.

Things we do for f*****g football.
 
Last season some mad woman deciding to almost mow down rangers fans who were all walking down the road after the game. Safe to say a few people took exception to her and she/her car got it tight!
 
Whilst heading to Ibrox boozing before an Old Firm game I found myself in some strangers flat with about 20/30 other random Bears to avoid the cops. Place was tiny but bouncing. I vaguely remember them having about 3 or 4 parrots in the house.

The other week my Dad's mate was driving over to Ibrox and his axle collapsed on his car just outside the Albion about 10 minutes before kick off for the Spartak game a few weeks back.

Me and my old man were in tears of laughter when we saw him. Shouldn't really laugh but it was hilarious. So close but yet so far.
 
2-6 at the piggery.

6 of us crammed into a wee Renault, everybody silently fizzing as we worked our way home in the pissing rain, about 200m from home I see a wee auld woman struggling with bags in the heavy rain.

Tell my dad to stop the car, get out, run down and offer to help. Soaked to the skin already by the time I reached her, it turns out her two bags weighed a fekn tonne. She walked slow and it took a good 10-15 mins to reach her door, where I put the bags just inside her and turned to head back across the road at which point she said -

"Thanks very much son, I'll light a candle for you tonight" :eek:
 
Dallas Cowboy said:
2-6 at the piggery.

6 of us crammed into a wee Renault, everybody silently fizzing as we worked our way home in the pissing rain, about 200m from home I see a wee auld woman struggling with bags in the heavy rain.

Tell my dad to stop the car, get out, run down and offer to help. Soaked to the skin already by the time I reached her, it turns out her two bags weighed a fekn tonne. She walked slow and it took a good 10-15 mins to reach her door, where I put the bags just inside her and turned to head back across the road at which point she said -

"Thanks very much son, I'll light a candle for you tonight" :eek:
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Hahaha :D

Speccy hotdog said:
I found a P plate on the ground outside post game, stuck it over the p on one of the police vans that block edminsin drive.

Coppers didn't notice and even drove away with it still on.
2l8hfo3.jpg
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So daft but so funny :D :D
 
Corporation bus to Ibrox. Some of the lads were giving it laldy - nothing to provocative - when some tims decided to respond with Sean South.

We all joined in that sing song but did you know that the unofficial words to Dolly's Brae ("lie down & grunt ...") are an exact fit for that tune?

So there we are bouncing down PRW getting very strange looks from both sides.
 
Two older guys behind me at the game on Sunday.

One says “Ejaria’s been outstanding today”

His mate’s reply “Aye but I thought he was shite against Spartak”.

WTF!!!
 
Was going to game & got on the underground at St Enoch's. Train arrives & we all troop on & as the doors are closing making that Wee noise it makes as the doors shut, this fud of a guy with a big bag of Wallpaper bought from Untouchables sticks his bag in the door to try to block the door so he could jump on at the last second.

Anyway at that precise moment the doors close & the wallpaper bag is on the carriage of the train but the guy is out on the outside on the platform still holding on desperately to a bit of the polybag. As the underground train pulls away he's repeatedly screaming at the top of his voice my Fcking wallpaper :D as he is running down the platform trying to keep up speed with train eventually he has to let's go of the bag. At this point everyone in the carriage going to the game is in hysterics laughing at what just happened. Then someone picked up the bag of wallpaper & started passing rolls of the wallpaper along the carriage. Was honestly one of the funniest things I had ever seen. :)
 
Nov 8th 2000 Rangers 2 Monaco 2 it was the match Amo fckd it and lost the ball for Monaco to equalize knocking us out..

It was my bday and i was blootered.. i went to the Match with a guy who i used to work with... i was that blootered at half time i thought the match was finished i headed outside and noticed Edmiston drive was empty think i just got a munch and went hame never seen the guy from work since lol
 
Early eighties our mate used to drive us all through to Ibrox in back of his transit (we had a shit load of a carry out as usual) we promptly told the weans to bugger off when they asked to "watch yer van mister".
after the game we get back the van and the back door is ripped open and carry out is gone...we never refused the offer to watch our van again.
 
New Year game 87, I was driving down Crow Road and there was an ancient double decker no moving under one of the railway bridges. Next minute all the Bears jump out and start pushing it.
 
A few seasons ago I was parking just down from the Swallow Hotel and a cop came over and asked me to park on the other side as there was some road work going to be happening. He stopped the traffic so I could do a u turn and I clipped the kerb and slashed my tyre. New car so no spare and the usual bottle of tyre sealant which was useless as the tyre had a 6" slash along it. So on the phone to a pal to come and take off the wheel and take it away and change the tyre. Took him hours so had to stand at the car until the game had 5 mins to go and went home. Some amount of knobs come along and state the obvious- Got a flat tyre mate ffs
 
Me and my boy at the recent Killie game on Halloween. Parked up then walked round past where the buses sit. It was really early so only a couple buses parked but there was this Skoda parked up with two wheels on pavement. Next thing the council truck comes, lifts it on its crane and takes it away. Don’t know how they got home but I’m sure it wasn’t by the means they came.
 
My seat at Ibrox is at the stairs, every week without fail someone trips on the stairs next to me, I'm that used to happening my arm reaches out to try and cushion the fall, only last week a guy was coming up with cups of bovril, trips and down he goes, bovril going everywhere My arm stoped his face landing of the step in the bovril.
 
About mid eighties when we were really shite, with guys like Colin McAdam & Sandy Clark & guys like that. So we were early 20s and just mad boys who had to laugh at the games or we’d have cried.
So one night 4 of us are leaving the game & id got a loan of my mothers wee metro. I parked it just behind that school over the road from the main stand.
Walked over Edmiston Drive & there’s a wee youth club / YMCA beside where that all weather park is. So we see the YMCA & decide to turn towards it & sing, yep, YMCA of course :cool: ( I know :p ).
Anyway this mad janny, obviously a rhabid feenie boy, comes running out at us claiming we abused a wee black kid that was standing at the door of the YMCA. Fucking BS of course.
So we told him to feck off he was talking shite & walked away. My maws cars a hundred yards along & he’s still behind us talking shite & shouting at us.
I get in the car, turn on the engine & take the handbrake off, only to look up & see my mate Willie Anarchy grab the Fokker & slam him onto the bonnet of my maws car. Fickin mental.
So I jump out to stop Willie tanking this guy & the fucking car starts rolling doon the feckin hill.
Had to all jump behind it to stop it crashing :D:D
Aye, those were the days.:cool:
 
Moved to the States in 74 and didn't get a chance to get back on my own, by my own planning until 1999. I planned the entire trip around a game against them at Ibrox. Arrived one week before the game to give me time to visit my Godmother and various friends on my way from London to Glasgow.

So I'd worked on getting tickets before I left and then the week prior while in Great Britain. No luck at all even though I have family and friends still there. Walked down to the stadium the day of the game and started asking everyone as they surrounded Ibrox around before entering. Everyone just laughed, asking if I'd trade my first born.

As kickoff approached I was walking down an alley and asked the last guy I saw and he handed over a coupon and said, 'Yeah, my mate is back at the flat pissed, here you go.'! No ticket stub for my collection but I was in either CF or CR 3 or 4 I believe.

Experience of a lifetime for a lifelong Bear who had been plucked away from my home all those years ago. No atmosphere here in the States can compare and I've been to some pretty crazy games here involving obsessed fans such as ourselves (KY Wildcats basketball and Steelers).

We won that game 3-2, it was the one where Albertz (I believe) made an amazing sliding tackle on Lambert (I think!) and took some of his teeth along with him. We were down a couple times in that game and came back and won if my memory serves.

Anyway, on one of the goals I and everyone went mental and I was slapping high fives and hugging strangers. Went to high five one of the guys next me and missed his hand completely but not his eye! My finger went what felt like knuckle deep and the poor sod was messing with it the rest of the game.

If you're on here, sorry!!
 
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Its-Sebo said:
Simple one.

It all happened when I was about 15. Myself, my da and 5-6 guys from our bus were standing in a wee (close together) group outside the stadium, that lot drinking their decanted juice.

Next thing, a gallon of bird shit lands all over my head, face, jacket. No cünt else was touched, not even with shrapnel. My da must have laughed for about 3 days straight.
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that is f*cking spectacular hahahaha:D:D:D
 
KYBear_74 said:
Moved to the States in 74 and didn't get a chance to get back on my own, by my own planning until 1999. I planned the entire trip around a game against them at Ibrox. Arrived one week before the game to give me time to visit my Godmother and various friends on my way from London to Glasgow.

So I'd worked on getting tickets before I left and then the week prior while in Great Britain. No luck at all even though I have family and friends still there. Walked down to the stadium the day of the game and started asking everyone as they surrounded Ibrox around before entering. Everyone just laughed, asking if I'd trade my first born.

As kickoff approached I was walking down an alley and asked the last guy I saw and he handed over a coupon and said, 'Yeah, my mate is back at the flat pissed, here you go.'! No ticket stub for my collection but I was in either CF or CR 3 or 4 I believe.

Experience of a lifetime for a lifelong Bear who had been plucked away from my home all those years ago. No atmosphere here in the States can compare and I've been to some pretty crazy games here involving obsessed fans such as ourselves (KY Wildcats basketball and Steelers).

We won that game 3-2, it was the one where Albertz (I believe) made an amazing sliding tackle on Lambert (I think!) and took some of his teeth along with him. We were down a couple times in that game and came back and won if my memory serves.

Anyway, on one of the goals I and everyone went mental and I was slapping high fives and hugging strangers. Went to high five one of the guys next me and missed his hand completely but not his eye! My finger went what felt like knuckle deep and the poor sod was messing with it the rest of the game.

If you're on here, sorry!!
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Great story mate :D
 
We played Elgin around Christmas time. I had a shed load on the way up. Few hours in the boozer before the game. Got to the game and it was peeing from the heavens. No shelter if I remember correctly. Me and a mate headed back to the pub to watch on the telly. It wasn't on TV it was on rangers TV. So all the way to elgin for a bevy.
 
KYBear_74 said:
Moved to the States in 74 and didn't get a chance to get back on my own, by my own planning until 1999. I planned the entire trip around a game against them at Ibrox. Arrived one week before the game to give me time to visit my Godmother and various friends on my way from London to Glasgow.

So I'd worked on getting tickets before I left and then the week prior while in Great Britain. No luck at all even though I have family and friends still there. Walked down to the stadium the day of the game and started asking everyone as they surrounded Ibrox around before entering. Everyone just laughed, asking if I'd trade my first born.

As kickoff approached I was walking down an alley and asked the last guy I saw and he handed over a coupon and said, 'Yeah, my mate is back at the flat pissed, here you go.'! No ticket stub for my collection but I was in either CF or CR 3 or 4 I believe.

Experience of a lifetime for a lifelong Bear who had been plucked away from my home all those years ago. No atmosphere here in the States can compare and I've been to some pretty crazy games here involving obsessed fans such as ourselves (KY Wildcats basketball and Steelers).

We won that game 3-2, it was the one where Albertz (I believe) made an amazing sliding tackle on Lambert (I think!) and took some of his teeth along with him. We were down a couple times in that game and came back and won if my memory serves.

Anyway, on one of the goals I and everyone went mental and I was slapping high fives and hugging strangers. Went to high five one of the guys next me and missed his hand completely but not his eye! My finger went what felt like knuckle deep and the poor sod was messing with it the rest of the game.

If you're on here, sorry!!
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I see now it was Lambert tackling Albertz and it resulted in a penalty that the big German slammed home to equalize at 2-2. I'm almost positive it was 1999, anyone know the date?

 
The day we won the league at killie they opened Ibrox for the title party. On the way back from the stadium walking across the wee bridge between the bbc and the crowne plaza caught up in the euphoria some mad bear claimed he would jump in the clyde. Few of his mates dared him, next thing u know he strips down to his boxers, climbs up n jumps in.
 
Back in the day when we were in our teens all the boys from school and we hung about with used to get the local bus into the Town and either get the subway over to Ibrox or if it was nice walked (tended to get us a bit of unwanted or wanted attention depending on what you think) anyway this day we were playing the mentally challengeds at Ibrox and the weather was nice so we decided to walk it.
Just as we got to around where the Crystal Palace is now on Jamaica Street one of our teachers comes bouncing out from behind a bus and joins in whatever song it was we were singing. Walks along a bit with us before heading off towards a pub turns and shouts "and remember boys, we are the fuc*in people"
 
I state for the record I don’t condone violence, now picture the scene 1991, just turned 16 years old, having just won 2 nil at the piggery thanks to a double from Hateley, travelling back on the bus to Rutherglen, we were coming down Main Street a tim was gesturing towards the bus as he was walking in the opposite direction, what he failed to see was the traffic lights we’re now on red, a unknown bear got off the bus at said lights! After a brief and unpleasant conversation the Tim put his hands inside his jacket to make it look like he was carrying! The 2.0 score line wasn’t the only beating that day allegedly. I can honestly say that’s the only trouble I’ve witnessed at an old firm game in my 43 years of being a Bear.
 
AbronhillBear said:
Back in the day when we were in our teens all the boys from school and we hung about with used to get the local bus into the Town and either get the subway over to Ibrox or if it was nice walked (tended to get us a bit of unwanted or wanted attention depending on what you think) anyway this day we were playing the mentally challengeds at Ibrox and the weather was nice so we decided to walk it.
Just as we got to around where the Crystal Palace is now on Jamaica Street one of our teachers comes bouncing out from behind a bus and joins in whatever song it was we were singing. Walks along a bit with us before heading off towards a pub turns and shouts "and remember boys, we are the fuc*in people"
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Great story mate.
 
Not Ibrox but after a Gers game at Firhill, 2 blokes absolutely steaming chucking horse dung at each other after the game.

Also seen a wheelchair belonging to a guy on the supporters bus bouncing down the road after a game at Dundee.

And I got the biggest, mankiest bird shit from a seagull on my head and face as I left Ayr for an OF match at Hampden. Had to go home for a shower. Certainly wasn't lucky, we also got beat.
 
As a young lad early 70s, took my wee blow up rangers player to a game at Ibrox with my old man and his pissed up mates. We scored and during the ensuing mayhem, drunken mate stuck his castella cigar through my wee blow up players heed.

Folded him up and cried all the way home. No amount of puncture repair jobs could bring him back to life.:(
 
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