What is your 'canny make it up' story about heading to or leaving Ibrox?

I see now it was Lambert tackling Albertz and it resulted in a penalty that the big German slammed home to equalize at 2-2. I'm almost positive it was 1999, anyone know the date?

November 7th 1999, and it was 4-2.

My first game against the child abusers.
 
Not me but my mate during the 4-4 game at Ibrox. He seen at most 1 goal due to keep having to go to the toilet to throw up after a very heavy night before. Canny be arsed looking it up but was it a New Years game
#lazybassaloyal
 
Back in the day when we were in our teens all the boys from school and we hung about with used to get the local bus into the Town and either get the subway over to Ibrox or if it was nice walked (tended to get us a bit of unwanted or wanted attention depending on what you think) anyway this day we were playing the mentally challengeds at Ibrox and the weather was nice so we decided to walk it.
Just as we got to around where the Crystal Palace is now on Jamaica Street one of our teachers comes bouncing out from behind a bus and joins in whatever song it was we were singing. Walks along a bit with us before heading off towards a pub turns and shouts "and remember boys, we are the fuc*in people"

Billy Connellys Uncle Hughie stays opposite my mum and dad (in a leafy Southside suburb...) he has the "don't give a %^*&" madness that comes with age..lovely old guy, and we have taken him to Ibrox a few times (he is from BCs mother's side and is a Bear)

after a victorious old firm game a few years back, my old man was out cutting the hedge and Hughie started shouting over about the game..he is just about deaf so shouts all the time. the Tim neighbours were having a BBQ and were clearly on a downer as the forces of darkness had failed. my dad mentioned to Hughie that he should maybe quiten down the celebrations in case he offended the neighbours. (like I say, leafy suburb)

undeterred Hugh shouts over " %^*& them" cheerily at the top of his voice.
 
Slightly related to the 4-2 game against them mentioned above

Headed down to Ibrox after that game, I think we were playing Hearts - no bus was going from Nairn, so I took my 2 nephews with their dads down to Ibrox for the first time with the Inverness True Blues.

There was a chap in the ITBs who was blind, or at least partially blind - he entered the toilet in the bus, and after he'd done his business, came out of the crapper and pronounced "I've lost ma falsers"; the bus then erupted with a chorus of

"Lambert stole your teeth, Lambert stole your teeth ..."

Maybe a case of ye had to be there, but it still makes me chuckle when I remember it!
 
Second ever game at Ibrox. I was only 7 and went with dad and sister.

It was a late European game and we were parked on waste ground a fair bit away.

Anyway my sister had a flaf confiscated and told she could pick it up after the game.

Game ends and we go to get flag back and disaster struck... I got separated from them in the massive crowds! I ended up making a B line for the car and sat beside it, shivering and cold.

Some Rangers fans (a guy and a girl) parked beside us arrived and talked to me and waited until my dad showed up. He was so relieved.

Its not a funny story etc but ive never thanked them but it was in 1992 if i can recall... But thanks for staying with me for half an hour
 
Years ago stuck in a traffic jam on the M8W. Finally get to the cause of it there’s an old van broke down in the outside lane.

As. I drive past I notice the driver with his head under the bonnet. He’s a kids entertainer dressed in full clowns garb, face paint, the lot.

Poor guy must have been one of the worst days of his life. Bet he took pelters.
 
After a bevy in the wee Rangers club after a home game around 2007/8 I was on my way over to the subway and walked past Ibrox, on my way past I noticed a door open at the corner of the broomloan and the Sandy Jardine so decided I couldn’t resist a wee peak of our floodlit glorious stadium, managed to take it all in for a moment before getting my marching orders.
 
On the way to a game last season, standing in the queue for a train/subway ticket at Queen Street, bumped into a guy I went to school with and hadn't clapped eyes on since the day I left in 2001. Had a quick blether, turns out he's had his season ticket since school as well and gets the train 1 stop before me, I commented it was weird this was the first time we'd saw each other. So off I went to the Auctioneers for a pint with my brother while he was heading over to meet some pals the Louden.

Couple of hours later, coming out the subway and walking up to the stadium, walking past the chippy opposite the Louden and there he is again munching a roll n chips. Didn't end there.......

Guess who also turned up in the Kensington after the game! We just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Haven't seen him since!
Last season I kept bumping into the same random guy at away games.

Standing next to him at Murrayfield.

Then at Christmas, got to the turnstile queue at Rugby Park, the bloke directly in front turns round and it's him.

Then decide to head for a beer in Hamilton in February before the match, get to the bar and this guy's standing next to me.

At this point both of us just laughed.

How the hell does that happen?
Similarly, haven't seen him since.
 
Years ago on the way to Ibrox for an old firm game the bus would have to go through Hogganfield loch before the steps bypass.
Anyway side by side giving it laldy with a mentally challenged bus a guy opens up the skylight and banged an empty half bottle across our roof and shatters their window .
They smash the shattered window through and gets in front of us .
They pull in and the police presence pull us over.
Bus convener for us tells the police that their banging on the windows smashed it.
We got away with it .
 
My seat at Ibrox is at the stairs, every week without fail someone trips on the stairs next to me, I'm that used to happening my arm reaches out to try and cushion the fall, only last week a guy was coming up with cups of bovril, trips and down he goes, bovril going everywhere My arm stoped his face landing of the step in the bovril.
Sonds fimilar, I'm at the top of the stairs and often see them running up then tripping, I've saved a few from sore faces, not long a go one old guy was heading down I put our my arm for him to grab then bam! a right hook to the balls I doubled up and crumpled to my seat only to get the embarrassment of the old guy helping me! Everyone around me was pishing themselves, so unless your a good looking bird with huge tits I won't be tying to grab you if you fall ...
 
The day of the OF game at the piggery I gets a call from my uncle telling me he has a spare ticket for the game and would I like to go. I think I answered in the affirmative before he finished asking the question.

So I drove over to his house in Cambuslang and we all went (him and his son too) in his car.

Full of nervous excitement as we approached Dalmarnock and I'm thinking he must be looking around for a good place to park, but he keeps on going and going. Past Dalmarnock past the green and approaching the Gorbals. I said to him "Are you not giving us a helluva long walk to the game"

"What do you mean?"

"Well we've driven well past parkhead"

"Aye but we're going to Ibrox son"

"But the game's at parkhead"

Then he shows me the ticket. It was for the beamback at Ibrox! :eek:

It was the game Scott Wilson was sent off and we lost 5-1 :(
 
First time on supporters bus when I was young and on the way home there was a guy cutting a wart off another guys elbow with a Loewen Messer, Union Jack flat cap turned inside out on his head and a Rangers baby bib over his face. He was also using vodka to sterilise..
 
I found a P plate on the ground outside post game, stuck it over the p on one of the police vans that block edminsin drive.

Coppers didn't notice and even drove away with it still on.
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You should’ve put it on the L Popice
 
On way to a CIS cup final v timmy. We was on a double decker, as was a timmy bus. We made a turn as there was a clear low bridge sign. The timmy bus, the occupants had been at the windows blessing themselves, giving the vicks etc, never saw the sign and charged straight on. had to brake last minute or the top deck would have come off. Much hilarity as they tried to back up into on coming traffic!!!
 
Years ago on the way to Ibrox for an old firm game the bus would have to go through Hogganfield loch before the steps bypass.
Anyway side by side giving it laldy with a mentally challenged bus a guy opens up the skylight and banged an empty half bottle across our roof and shatters their window .
They smash the shattered window through and gets in front of us .
They pull in and the police presence pull us over.
Bus convener for us tells the police that their banging on the windows smashed it.
We got away with it .
Similar to a scene our bus witnessed on the M8 after a game v them at Ibrox.

A Rangers minibus and a scum minibus side by side on the motorway, scum giving it big licks with the window open.

Next thing the sliding door on the side of the Rangers bus opens and a plastic milk bottle filled with pish flies out and straight through the open window on the scum bus, smashing open on impact inside their minibus.
 
On our way to Rangers vs Elgin at Ibrox and we were in my mates dads new car. Brand new Jeep with all the extras, less than 30 miles on the clock and it burst into flames on the M8. Had to make a sharp exit from the vehicle on the hard shoulder :D

Also broke down in a taxi van on the way into Manchester for the UEFA cup final. Again it was a brand new vehicle and it got a flat tyre on the motorway. There was a spare attached to the underside of the van but the bolts securing it were fucked and wouldn't come off. We were stuck on the hard shoulder for ages and not one of you b******ds stopped until eventually one of the buses from the Grapes Bar stopped to pick us up! (Thanks again!)
 
As a young lad early 70s, took my wee blow up rangers player to a game at Ibrox with my old man and his pissed up mates. We scored and during the ensuing mayhem, drunken mate stuck his castella cigar through my wee blow up players heed.

Folded him up and cried all the way home. No amount of puncture repair jobs could bring him back to life.:(

Sorry mate but I'm gutting myself laughing at that, poor wee guy
 
Wasn't there on this occasion but my mate swears it is true.

Game against them at Hampden back in the 70's. Pre kick off and both ends giving each other plenty when a guy standing next to my mate suddenly goes into his pocket and pulls out an 'orange'. Holds it up in his hand, arm outstretched pointing it at the other end and just growls at the top of his voice!!! Probably had to be there:)

Same mate, we used to have seats next to each other for years till he chucked it. Anyway we were playing somebody the week before we played them at Ibrox. Team playing really well and spanking whoever it was 3-0 at half time. Mate turns to me and says "They should make a tannoy announcement at half time", "Can all season ticket holders please come to next week's match naked with a calculator" I almost ended myself imagining this. Once again you probably had to be there;)
 
Many years ago I was a member of a Rangers mailing list and a fellow member was a Colour Sergeant in the army.
He was also social secretary of his local Sergeants mess that had premises behind the Broomloan Stand.
He invited a few of us to pre match drinks and prices were 50p for double spirits and 30p for bottled beer.
As the afternoon wore on,and kick off approached,drinks were free.
If ever Sergeants MESS was appropriate it was then as they were some messes as we went to the game.:D
Been in there a few times with members of the old Internet Loyal. Very Messy.
 
Whilst heading to Ibrox boozing before an Old Firm game I found myself in some strangers flat with about 20/30 other random Bears to avoid the cops. Place was tiny but bouncing. I vaguely remember them having about 3 or 4 parrots in the house.

The other week my Dad's mate was driving over to Ibrox and his axle collapsed on his car just outside the Albion about 10 minutes before kick off for the Spartak game a few weeks back.

Me and my old man were in tears of laughter when we saw him. Shouldn't really laugh but it was hilarious. So close but yet so far.
I think I saw that. Was that a 4x4?

There seemed to be another car involved. He was raging.
 
The day we won the league against Dunfermline in 2003 I locked my keys in the car near Govan town hall, went into the game anyway expecting the car to be gone but it was still there so smashed the window and drove home :cool:
 
About 15 years ago I was going to a home game against the sheep with my mate and my cousin. My wife was dropping us off. At that time you could drive right up to the front of the stadium.

We all get out the car and start walking round the stadium. After about 100yds I look back and can see the wife can't get the car to start.

I'm walking towards it and can smell petrol. Turns out the fuel line has come away from the fuel filter at the back of the car.

By the time I get there the car is surrounded by cops and they are about to call the fire brigade to douse the petrol with foam or water to make sure there isn't a fire.

They then decide that they have to start thinking about evacuating the area and poss the stadium.

My cousin who is a mechanic is now beside us and tells the cops he can fix it. He's got the good suit and collar and tie on as we were going to hospitality for his birthday.

He gets the car sorted and get the car moved forward a bit and can see that there isn't too much petrol on the ground.

Cops decide they will stand there until it evaporates and make sure no one comes near it who is smoking etc.

Ended up a great wee day out and we had Sandy Jardine talking to us for a quite a while. One of the older ex Rangers players was talking to us and asked us where we are from and what's our names etc.
My cousins name is Joe Harper and the ex player shoots off to get Sandy Jardine out as Sandy and Joe Harper were good mates.

Sandy obviously realises right away that it isn't Joe Harper the footballer but spends a bit of time talking away to us anyway.
 
Was in the US west coast for the first time and first time i had seen such a time difference. woke up at 2.20pm on the day of the old firm game in the old days of 3pm kick offs. (lived in Hamilton) that was a panic but only missed the first 15 minutes
 
I can't remember now exactly which game it was, either UFA or FC Shkupi at Ibrox, but myself and my son get picked up outside Ibrox and we were hurrying to get out before the traffic was stopped but were too late. We sat in the car for about 30 mins and then the most bizarre sight ever walked by us. The away fans got a police escort and honestly there were more police than fans! They were totally surrounded and had mounted police at the front and back of the group.

Was total overkill and so surreal, took a good hour before we moved that night. And then as we got away and further up the road, some young boys were running up the road singing Alfredo's song! Was a good night!

Did anyone else see this??
 
Wife and my son a number of years back at a European game at the finish were heading back to the car, when they seen a character with his foot up on the tyre. Shouted at him, “What you up too” the Reply was, “I’m only tying my laces” so who was it, Marty Pellow, of Wet, Wet, Wet, she still laughs at it.
 
Told this story before but I'll never forget it,The first season the Copland stand was open I decided I could take my son to his first game he was 4 at the time,Anyway things were going well till half time and he needed a pee so I took him into the new toilets and there are these guys pishing in the sinks the wee fella was shocked but he did the biz and we got through the game without any further incident apart from me trying to drill into him what happens at the football stays at the football even on the way back on the bus remember wee man what happen etc.,We arrive back home we walk in the door the wife says to him how did you enjoy the game he goes you know something mum there were men peeing in the sinks.
 
Driving to the 1-0 win over Dumbarton where we clinched promotion back to the premier league, just come off the m74 and someone whipped across the front of me and took a decent whack out of my front bumper corner. Stopped and exchanged details etc then carried on our way.

Got to the ground and guess who's sat 2 seats away in the club deck... Tavernier scores and jumping about cuddling the guy i'd been swearing at an hour or so earlier. Funny old world.
 
It was mate, a white Range Rover.

I'm unsure if there was another car involved we just saw him on the phone with the cop car behind him.
Aye, there was. I got the impression that Range Rover swung left to get round a queue narrowly avoiding the other car. The suspension gave way as he did. I don’t think the were a collision but the other guy was raging.

He should have looked at the damage and realised it wasn’t the time or place.

The driver isn’t part of the club is he? He looked very familiar and looked like a club tie he was wearing
 
Aye, there was. I got the impression that Range Rover swung left to get round a queue narrowly avoiding the other car. The suspension gave way as he did. I don’t think the were a collision but the other guy was raging.

He should have looked at the damage and realised it wasn’t the time or place.

The driver isn’t part of the club is he? He looked very familiar and looked like a club tie he was wearing

Didn't realise it was that bad. He's a good guy as well, not like him.

Your bang on, his business is a sponsor of us and he also sponsored the Player of the Year awards last season.
 
I was coming out of Ibrox a few years back and my dad said to my brother that Kevin Kyle played ok today. I’ve looked at my dad and then my brother and thought Kevin Kyle playing for rangers at home in Ibrox Kevin Kyle first touch like a bouncy castle slower than a catholic funeral Kevin f uck ing Kyle playing in the blue of the famous Glasgow Rangers - next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed sweat pissing out me and realising it was all just a bad dream
It might have been an acid flashback but I think I just dreamt it
 
Remember the old story of the double decker carrying both sets of fans to an old firm game at Ibrox.

The Bears are on the top deck singing the usual hymns while Timmy is on the bottom deck singing their rebel dirges.

All of a sudden the bus stops and the Indian bus conducter tells all the mentally challengeds to get off.

A mentally challenged complains to the conducter about why they have been booted off the boss. The Indian bus conducter says "I love the Rangers fans as they sing about old Dehli's walls.

I'll get my coat.
 
@Mostin tucking into a burger as we walked up to the stadium. Massive bird shit fout if nowhere direct onto the half eaten burger in his hand. Hillarious.

Same person's false teeth flying out as we celebrated a goal in an old firm game. Cue Mostin havin to hunt about for his falsers and askin folk to help
 
At the 2-0 game v them last September, I was jogging back to my car to make a quick getaway to get on the motorway home. I managed to trip over my own feet (perfectly sober as well) and fell myself falling down.
I had a split second and thought it would be best to try a commando roll and then stand up and say “ta-da”!! Obviously, at my age that didn’t work and landed on shoulder.
I knew something was up as I was stopping the sickness coming up. A few young lads stopped and helped me and called an ambulance.
I ended up at the new hospital in a waiting room that was like a war zone (after an old firm game) and was like Joey Garner in A&E in the same hospital only a few months before!
Separated AC joint, so that wasn’t something I was expecting when I left home to head to the game!!
 
@Mostin tucking into a burger as we walked up to the stadium. Massive bird shit fout if nowhere direct onto the half eaten burger in his hand. Hillarious.

Same person's false teeth flying out as we celebrated a goal in an old firm game. Cue Mostin havin to hunt about for his falsers and askin folk to help
Glad to be of service bro. :D
 
I saw a Rangers player fighting on my way back from Ibrox! Early 90s and me and my mate jumped the 34 back to croftfoot. 2 groups of young boys waiting to get on the bus, and in 1 of the groups is Charlie Miller, along with 'the shoaps' mob from Castlemilk. They were all blootered, bevying and giving it the full repertoire. The other group of boys were rugby fans who had been watching a game at the rugby parks near crosshill. Sure enough, the rugger boys had a go...they shouldn't have bothered. At this point Charlie had made his debut at Pittodrie for Rangers and was widely regarded, along with seedorf, as the greatest schoolboy football player of his generation. What could have been Charlie...:D
 
At the Spartak home game a few weeks ago I sat in my brothers seat. The fans had a minute of applause for a young Bear who had sadly passed away, this was following on from a minutes applause at the Hamilton game for another young Bear. Some tube sitting behind me, starts moaning like %^*& about it (whilst clapping I may add) ‘ffs ahl no’ be doing this every bloody game’. I honestly wonder what planet some folk are on.

Edit - I know ive not really hit the brief but definitely a ‘canny make it up’ moment.
 
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Not Ibrox but I’ll share these to warm the cockles of your heart.

After coming out the piggery back in the day, some crash barrier prick decided he would wander right through the bears leaving the midden after a defeat. He had a big Tom Baker Dr Who size scarf on.

Got his head kicked in :D

Next, after Hampden riot another dhim decides walking through the bears in green and grey was a good idea. Last seen lying on ground as a bear kicked his head in. LOL.

They really ain’t the brightest. :D
 
One last one.

This time Ibrox.

After Juventus 2-0 game, my mate decides to jump the queue leaving Albion. Tries to squeeze in but misjudged exit. Hit wheel on wall. Snapped axel. Wheels aff. :D

Got home 4:30am that night LOL
 
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In the 80's, I was 7 or 8 going to the game with my uncles we and walked by bollards, similar to the ones here (could have been these specific ones, not sure). My uncle banged his knee right in to one.

He proceeded to give me a massive slap across the head "I thought that was you ya wee shit".

Thanks
 
PAOK in the Uefa Cup, 1997 I think (early in Gattuso's Rangers career). Anyway, my dad and brother are holding the season tickets that season and, therefore, have the tickets for that night's match. I decide to go up to Ibrox to see if I can get a ticket outside the ground. After a bit of searching about it becomes obvious that there are no spare tickets kicking about (at least not where iII've been looking). Have a last go without any luck and turn to the father and brother to announce that I can't get a ticket and going to head off (game was on the telly I think if I remember correct). As I turn to walk way I "bump" into another Rangers supporter and as I am appologising for bumping into him he says 'did I hear you are looking for a ticket". Turns out the guy had the only spare I had come across all night and I got to see the game after all. Only bit of luck I've ever had.
 
In the concourse before a game last season a guy came up and showed me his paper ticket and asked for directions, it was the seat next to me
 
A boy used to sit along from me, early 20s. Came down from Fife somewhere. Old Firm game one time he was so leathered that he spent all of it looking at his feet, while spilling his pie contents (not a euphemism) on my Mrs’ trainer. The occasional throw up of his arm to grow some incomprehensible pish then he staggered off at full time.
 
Went to a game years ago and parked up near the Sherbrook Castle , walking along talking to my mates , running my hand along the top of a hedge. Sharp pain and realised I had been stung by a bee. Was throbbing but laughed it off. Into the game in the West Enclosure and now I could feel the pain almost travelling all the way up my arm and into my chest. Started to get concerned it was more than a bee sting so asked the first aider. He said it was just a bad reaction however his mate had some sort of pen/needle that would see me fixed in no time.

His mate however was up behind the goals at the Copland and he escorted me all the way from nearly the corner flag at the Broomie to behind the goals where obviously it now looked more serious as two first aiders started dealing with me. My phone was red hot that night with people asking what had happened. Some got told about the bee sting others got told about my fight with two Hearts supporters and I got stabbed but refused to leave the game so they patched me up.
 
My grandpa and me got to Ibrox about 10 miutes before kick off of the CSKA champions league group decider in 92, arguably one of the biggest matches in our history and he realised he’d left the season books in his flat!

Subway back to partick, walkedup to yorkhill to get them and managed to get back for the second half starting!
 
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Similar to a scene our bus witnessed on the M8 after a game v them at Ibrox.

A Rangers minibus and a scum minibus side by side on the motorway, scum giving it big licks with the window open.

Next thing the sliding door on the side of the Rangers bus opens and a plastic milk bottle filled with pish flies out and straight through the open window on the scum bus, smashing open on impact inside their minibus.

Surprised they didn't get run off the road! How did that end??
 
About 15 years ago I was living in Sussex and still had my season ticket, got a ticket for our game at the piggery.

Left my house at 4 to drive to Stanstead to catch flight to Prestwick. Got to their ground, we go beat. Back to Prestwick, flight back to Stansead. Drove home fro their and on M25 exhaust fell off the car, had to get AA called out to get me and car home. Eventually got home 22 hours after I woke up
 
Went to the argyle suite for the Hearts game a few weeks ago, I was in a group of 4 so we were sharing a table and box with another group of 4 for the day. Only two of us at the table had season tickets, myself, and one of the lads in the other group.....our seats were 5 seats away from one another in the Govan Rear (albeit 1 row of a difference)
 
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